Flash Forward

So I realized that I have not yet updated a lot of people on most of my beginnings here in Dusseldorf, or as some of us call it, D-dorf. This just came to me during the D-dorf comment that somewhere in this city name a nickname of something like Deuces for the double d's, or even Dub-D for that matter seems appropriate... but now that I say it 'aloud' it also sounds trashy, so perhaps I won't try to single handedly re-nickname Dusseldorf. The original D-dorf will suffice.

Now to save everyone's very precious time I will give the abridged version of the last two and a half weeks since I arrived in Germany, but mostly just tell you of a few highlights that I think you might find amusing. And so that I don't bore you I will make it a two-parter. That way you can also wait in suspense for the conclusion of my re-cap.

This is completely random but I find it comical so I have to include it: to begin my journey from Atlanta to the UK I flew to London with the band Lifehouse. At first I wasn't sure if it was them because I haven't listened to their music since I was pubescent so I only quasi recognized the lead singer. But they definitely looked like a band and they definitely drank like a band the entire way (at least some of them, let's preserve Lifehouse's clean image...). I would know because they were in my row across the aisle. Once I got here out of sheer curiosity I Googled them (because I Google everything) and sure enough it was Lifehouse. Interesting start to my trip.

The first few days were pretty hazy. I would say it was probably day two and I was happily asleep in my bed at about 2 in the afternoon due to my horrible case of jet-lag and I was abruptly awakened by the maid bursting into my room in her little German accent yelling "Hallo, you are in Germany, this is your German room, good morning!!" I shit you not, she said it just like that. Bare in mind that I have those European blinds outside my window, so when you close them it is complete darkness. I was in a freaking cave and rays of blinding light followed this woman as she entered my room. Disoriented all I could keep saying was 'What time is it.... (Juliet keeps talking, I keep squinting at her) But what time is it." I can think of worse ways to be woken up, sure, but God it did not feel good and though it may sound a little fun, it wasn't.

A couple days later my host family and I went to this huge bookstore around the corner that I fully intend on getting lost in one of these afternoons. They insisted on buying me a book because everyone was getting something and they wanted to get me a gift so we asked where the English section was and I was given terrible directions of "the second floor." It was not on the second floor, store lady. These split-floor levels don't work that way. After some serious solo hunting and pretending that I was casually 'looking' around I finally found it: the small, but glorious, English literature section. Now I felt pretty deflated and disheartened my entire first week here. Not knowing the language or anyone in town is tough! So as I stood in front of the English section, by myself (because no one else spoke English or wanted a book in it) I quietly lost it just a little, and it felt really good. After collecting myself however I ended up getting an etiquette guide to Germany (because I don't want to sneeze into my left shoulder instead of my right and insult someone) but due to the funny title "CULTURE SHOCK! Germany" my host family got a good laugh out of it so I proceeded to lose it again... in the car. That, however, did not feel so good. They explained the misunderstanding that they giggled because they thought it was cute and continued on to tell a story about how germans have a saying about culture shock, blah blah blah, that story doesn't matter.

I think I've only told one or two people about "The Essen Song," so here it goes. One day at Juliet's flat, sometime during the second half of the first week, she made her son, Finn, and myself lunch. Now essen means eat, just to give you a little background. And Finn likes to sing. Also a little background. So I'm sitting on the couch and Juliet hollers 'essen!' from the kitchen. Finn comes running over to me on the couch, jumps onto my lap, pins down my shoulders, holds his head just above mine and much like a predator to his prey he gets within two inches of my face. Stunned, and a little horrified since I had just met this boy a few days earlier, I sit back and listen to, what I have titled, "The Essen Song," (which is literally just Finn saying 'essen' over and over again and bopping his head from one side to the other) until he's good and ready to quit. Now I suppose the thought of eating really got his saliva pumping because before I know it what must have been every last drop of liquid in his mouth spills out onto mine in a serious nanosecond. I never saw it coming, how could I!? The germaphobe in me has already learned to get over his germs as best I can because I'll be living with him for a year so I better get used to it. Therefore I didn't skip a beat. He goes "oops" and hops off of me. By the grace of God my mouth was closed so I simply made a few wipes at my mouth and carried on to the kitchen but I hope I never encounter "The Essen Song" again. Unless it's across the room. In which case perhaps I'll sing along.

To Be Continued...